I am absolutely wiped out from lack of sleep after Sophia’s 2 and a half months of humdinger chest infections since her flu jab, keeping me awake every night whilst I’ve also been under the weather (but we won’t get the ’flu – yay). Sophia, however, is now flourishing health-wise and is bursting with energy now that the urticaria has vanished (which we never did get to the bottom of). Additionally, she is positively delighted with herself as she sat for a full 2 minutes on her own on the floor this week which is much harder to do than sitting on a bench or low chair with her feet on the floor for balance and with something in front of her at waist height to lean on or play with which is how she did it at physio the other week. I had placed her balance ball (a lightweight ball approx 20cm in diameter) between her legs as initial support and then slowly moved the ball away to see if she’d stay sitting – and she did. It was a very exciting moment.
Unfortunately, she looses her balance when she claps and because she claps and grins every time I get excited or say “well done” or “clever girl” she keeps falling over. And of course I am so enraptured with her every small achievement that I can’t help but say ‘well done’ or ‘clever girl’ continuously which means that if she’s sitting she falls over, or if she’s in the middle of doing an activity, she stops to clap herself. It really is delightful to watch but it is starting to get in the way of her exercises so I might have to calm my exuberance down a little.
This lack of Christmas prep, however, is not good. Father Christmas will be delivering to a very dull house if I don’t get my act together so I’m resorting to Night Nurse now and…… aaaggghhhh, I’ve just spent the last 5 minutes swearing at the bottle as I couldn’t get the top off it, bloomin’ childproof locks. I might joke about it, but I need my fix – I want sleep to get rid of this infernal bug and if I can’t have my Night Nurse I’ll be strung out and wired from lack of sleep. At least that’s what I think might happen and therefore probably will, but if I didn’t think it might happen chances are I’d sleep exactly the same as if I took it without taking it, but the thought is out there now so I have to take it! Grrrrrr – I NEED MY NIGHT NURSE! Ahhh, got the lid off – happy now.
It’s not good though, my night-time routine is almost laughable: not only have I turned into a Night Nurse junky, I have Olbas Oil all over the bedclothes, vapour rub on the soles of my feet and chest and sniff Sinex as though my life depends on it. Anything to help me breathe better at night. I’m popping every conceivable vitamin, eating healthily – well, for 1,800ish calories and then consuming probably another 1,000 calories of rubbish to keep me going as I flag constantly – not good for either my long term health or my waist line, but sanity must at present. According to the Food Hospital television programme which I watch avidly, I definitely have a vitamin filled diet and whilst it’s not supposed to be a comedy, it is to me as I laugh at myself watching it whilst stuffing my face with rubbish at the same time! I think the constant lack of sleep since conceiving Sophia has definitely started to take its toll. But, on the plus side, Sophia is doing brilliantly and my hips are properly on the mend. I sat on the floor at Dee’s sensory group this afternoon (she’s set it up at our local Children’s Centre in order that Sophia and her other Portage children and their families have an additional support playgroup to go to). It was the Christmas Party this week and I managed to floor sit for the whole singing session without intense pain, something I’ve not been able to do in 2 years.
Frustratingly I’ve had to bow out of my choir’s Christmas concert as I’m too shattered and can’t reach the high notes with my croaky voice. The reaction from a couple of the members and also some friends when I mentioned my disappointment at not singing proved just how much people don’t understand the effort involved in raising Sophia. “Just pop yourself up on pills, sing in the concert and rest for a few days afterwards”. That option definitely isn’t my reality and nor, for that matter, the reality of the majority of parents of children with profound special needs. But I guess unless you’ve experienced it, you simply cannot comprehend the effort involved.
Maybe Father Christmas will bring a sack full of time-out for all of us this year…